Here and There and Everywhere

Summertime has all of us thrown off our normal schedule - bedtimes are later, afternoons have been spent outside with dinner thrown together last minute (my poor husband probably longs for a normal, "adult" meal), and I'm tired enough to not want to write. But the pictures just keep piling up along with the stories and memories. 

Since Mother's Day, we have been:

Camping with friends in High Valley. It was awesome to spend time with the Woodlands and get to know them a bit better. We arrived late Friday afternoon and got our tents set up just before it poured. So much for s'mores! Chocolate and swedish fish were consumed in the dryness of the tent rather than by a smoky flame. The kids and I squished into our four-man tent and they slept. I didn't bring more than a yoga mat, thinking that I could be young and tough. Turns out, I'm not young or tough and didn't sleep much on the ground. 

Saturday dawned clear and lovely. The local pond is stocked with rainbow trout that aren't bothered enough....the older kids caught and released a huge amount of fish! Even Morgan was able to land a couple of her own, and I'm so grateful for the boys to have helped her in the endeavor. They took turns on the canoe and used the little kayak the other family brought. I made Spencer wear a life jacket on the dock cause I didn't quite trust him not to fall into the lake while trying to catch a bug. When the sun was out, it was quite hot. When it was hiding behind a cloud, the sweatshirt went back on. And off. And on. It was a good day and didn't start raining again until we had packed up and were heading back down the mountain. Dinner was Idaho Pizza and then home to shower! 

Mallorie had her Spring Grand Recital at the BSU special events center which went really well. I was a back stage mom for the second year and loved being part of the getting ready and behind the scenes action. The girls did great! 

The kids re-discovered the playdough and have been building in the afternoons with the clay. They are so creative! These are penguins, inspired by Morgan's class presentation on penguins toward the end of school. 

We also got to house-sit for the neighbors down the street. They have five-acres of farm - cats, chickens, cows, and calves. Their third cow was due to calve the week they were in Florida, and sure enough, she dropped her calf the morning after they left. I saw it up and wobbling around in the morning and evening and didn't have time to check on the pair during the day. By Friday morning, she was down and hiding in a patch of cheat grass, limp as a noodle. The vet was called (yes, I'm a vet but more than a little rusty in newborn-ain't-doing-right calf medicine) and the owner's daughter came out. Several hours later, the little thing was up nursing, the other cows and calves were arranged into different pastures, and I spent the next two days worrying about this little one staying alive. The vet thought that she might have been a bit of a dummy calf - oxygen deprived during birth - and just didn't get the hang of what she needed to do right away. Named Freya, she's doing well now! The kids loved going over in the evenings for chores and running around the property. Mrs. B loves her cows and I don't think has plans to leave during calving season. Ever again!

 We're working on potty training....he often looks like this during the day!

Not sure how he does it, but this little man can sleep on my lap while I'm riding the lawn mower!

Sometimes I play a little "game" with Chadwick - is the dishwasher clean or dirty? I dislike unloading the dishwasher with a passion and would rather let the sink pile high with dirty dishes than unload the clean ones. Usually, I have the girls do it after Morgan gets off the bus. On this particular day, the sink was actually piled higher than shown by the time I got around to cleaning it up. Glad Chadwick wasn't here to see it....this type of thing annoys him greatly.

We also had Spencer's birthday, attended the Meridian Public Works Expo, and have been playing at home and in the yard. More on that another time. Dinner prep is calling.

Motherhood

Motherhood is full of opposites - great joys, large frustrations, exhaustion, smiling until your face hurts, swinging from the brink of wanting to strangle a child to smothering that same child in kisses (sometimes within a five-minute period). It's the hardest thing I've ever done.

Motherhood is also FOREVER. It's not a 9-5 job or something from which you retire after putting in 18 years. There are no raises, no awards ceremonies, and you're always on call, on edge, and looking out. It's a burden to know that these sweet spirits have been entrusted in my care and I am so thankful to have an amazing husband with whom I can share this load. I believe that it does take a village to raise a family and can't believe how blessed I am with the family and friends, both near and far, who help me in this most important job. 

This quote from Harold B. Lee has really resonated with me in the past 6 months: "The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home." 

I've mentioned before being torn in my desire to work as a veterinarian and remain home with the children. It came to a head last fall and after a lengthy discussion with my hubs, decided to pray about continuing to work or remain here full time. My sweet sister in law recommended a list of pros and cons and that couldn't have been better advice. Once I got it out on the laptop, Excel spreadsheet style, I felt that my answer was clear: it's time to stay home. A trip to the temple and a Sunday of Julie-style fasting confirmed that thought. 

As a side note, I was nervous about telling Chadwick. In our previous conversation, he mentioned supporting a decision to remain home, but only if it was done for the right reasons. In other words, if I wasn't quitting my clinic job because it was hard. Or inconvenient. The impressive thing was that as I created the list of pros and cons - "stay at home," "continue working several days per month," and "go back to work on a weekly basis" - I could feel an internal shift. Yes, it was inconvenient to find a sitter for the younger kids and arrange for help getting Morgan to/from the bus stop. No, I don't have a lot of confidence in my clinic skills anymore. However, I began to feel like staying home was where I belonged and what I wanted for my family. It wasn't about me anymore. When I told Chadwick, he smiled and quietly said that he had been feeling the same thing over the previous couple of months. Immediate boost to my faith in prayer and doing something for the right reasons. 

I don't know what I'll do when the kids are in school full-time or gone the way of college/mission/their own apartment. And I'm not really worried, to be honest. I try to remember that being home is a blessing and something that shouldn't be taken for granted. Yes, there are hard days. Yes, there are days my heart soars watching and listening to the songs and giggles. Most days it's somewhere in between. 

My mom flew up for a visit over Mother's Day and we had a blast! Mother's Day and her birthday coincided this year so we celebrated by attending Morgan and Mallorie's end-of-the-year music recitals, lunch at Freddy's just us, and an overnight trip to McCall. 

It was just what I had been craving; alone time with Mom. We talked and ate our way through the weekend, shopping downtown McCall, walking by the lake, and enjoying time together. Chadwick made dinner Sunday evening and we decorated a Hello Kitty cake for her birthday. Spencer blew out the candles before Mom could take a breath at the end of the birthday song! She spoiled the kids Monday and flew back home Tuesday. 

I'm grateful to bear the title of "mother" and am indebted to my own mother and mother-in-law for setting amazing examples. This world is a better place with mothers.