For the Moment

Six months after Mallorie was born, I found myself in a dark place. Mentally, emotionally, physically. My relationship with my husband was crumbling. I was hard on Morgan, who was only two and a half years old. I'm pretty sure I kicked the dog a few times in frustration when he wouldn't move out of the way fast enough....and in the small square footage of our duplex, his 70-pound frame was underfoot more often than not.

In that gloomy period, I was often able to stand back as if outside of my body looking in. Wondering if that was really me. The me I knew to be a happy child, an outgoing college student. The me I remembered from pre-motherhood and maybe even pre-veterinary school years.

I still have moments when the clouds descend and the weight of the blues rests heavily on my shoulders. Thankfully, those moments are not as low and do not last as long as that rock-bottom February of years ago. A forgiving husband, solid friendships, sessions with a counselor and anti-depressant medication allowed me to climb out of the ravine to higher ground. My inner desire to be the kind of mom my children deserve and some sort of self-preservation nudged me (then and now) when the going was/is tough.

Recently, I have had moments "outside myself" when I catch myself smiling - at Spencer's antics at the table, the sight of our red barn set against the glow of the sunset, the smell of the mint on the morning breeze that floats through the open window. Giggling at the sound of my children's laughter from the other room, of hearing Mallorie sing song after song while doing her business in the bathroom. Of Morgan's enthusiasm for science/bugs/dinosaurs or my own sense of accomplishment when personal goals have been met for the day. Feeling grateful when I wake in the morning and my right hand isn't numb from the night's sleep. Tonight, I am sitting peacefully on the back deck, the smell of recent rain washing over me, the muffled sound of the freeway and crickets in the background. Darwin has left off trying to get me to throw the ball and is resting on the ground near my chair.

For the moment, the stresses of today and impending ones of tomorrow are silent. It's good to have me back.

Solar Eclipse 2017

For the first time since 1918, a total solar eclipse graced the skies of the continental US - starting in Salem, OR and arcing over the country to end it's journey over American soil in Columbus, SC.

The hype here at home was amazing, especially since the path of totality ran not real far north and west of us. The Idaho state veterinarian sent an email warning us that the influx of animals may bring disease, increased risk of heat stroke, etc. Stores and gas stations, especially in rural areas, were advised to massively stock up on snacks and gas to provide supplies to the thousands of travelers that were expected to flood the area. Hotels and campgrounds were booked solid. The Oregon police have a webpage dedicated to the eclipse, how to stay safe and such. Madness.

Chadwick ordered solar viewing glasses from Amazon, which didn't arrive in time. We improvised and created cereal box viewers. Morgan was out of school for the day so we loaded up into the car and drove to Intermountain Pet Hospital to view the phenomenon with Chadwick and his co-workers. The staff had several pair of glasses that we traded in addition to our cereal boxes and the binoculars that I brought from home. The cereal box viewers totally worked! The small, half circle light on the bottom is the actual one to watch. Turns out, a 22-gauge needle was required to make the right sized hole.

 

Chadwick was able to get a pinpoint light onto a piece of paper with the binoculars. Spencer was quite interested in this process. "Doing, Daddy?"

 

I have to be honest - I wasn't real enthused about the whole eclipse until Monday morning. I didn't care if Chadwick purchased glasses (next time we'll have to go to Lowe's...might save us $70), hadn't made plans to head to Fruitland to move into the path of totality (mostly because I was scheduled to work in the afternoon and wasn't sure if I could make it back in time with the traffic predictions), and decided last minute to stay at the clinic with the crew.

 

I'm so glad I did. The girls loved it and we were able to borrow glasses from Chadwick's co-workers and view the sight. It was amazing to watch the world slowly darken to dusk at 11:27 am local time. While it never got completely dark, it darkened enough that the lights in the parking lot turned on. The temperature dropped at least 5 degrees. The earth was bathed in a glow unlike anything I've ever experienced. And we got to be together as a family.

Now I want to rent a motorhome and travel to the area of totality for the next solar eclipse in 2024. Taking a roadtrip in a motorhome is one of my new additions to the bucket list. Combine it with a complete solar eclipse....and it's perfect. My hubs wasn't sure about the whole idea. I have a few years to get him to warm up to it. Ha!

It Has Been Talked About...and Finally Done

Chadwick loves to backpack. I tease that his camping motto has something to do with the fact that if he can see another person, he hasn't gone quite far enough into the wilderness. He's been itchy to take Morgan out for a one-nighter. And I've been holding him back as I thought her still too young. 

Then my friend Cyndi and her husband took their four children - ages 10 to 4 - backpacking for a night and that was the nudge I needed to send my two packing. Literally.

The Friday at the end of the first week of school, Chadwick picked Morgan up after the last bell and headed up to Jennie Lake. Turns out, they didn't make it to the lake on the first night, but they camped along the trail and hiked in the rest of the way Saturday morning. The day was spent fishing and hiking and then back out to the car later in the afternoon. 

Morgan came home dirty. The kind of dirty spent out in nature. The kind that creates happy memories and the desire to do it again. The kind that leaves black smudges around the ankle bones for at least 2 showers before it finally gives in to the soap bubbles. 

I lost count of the number of times Morgan said, "And guess what??" The fact that the hike to and from the lake was roughly 10 miles with elevation didn't dampen her enthusiasm one bit. In fact, when she couldn't sleep Saturday night she said that maybe she just needed to do some more hiking. She picked wildflowers, reeled in a fish caught by her dad (they caught and released a total of 4 nice trout), slept in a tent with a clear view of the stars, and she can't wait to do it again.

 

 

Darwin went as well, though I think he might have had mixed feelings about the adventure. For one, he was packing his own food and blanket. Secondly, he slept outside the tent which made him nervous and cold by morning. He didn't move much off his bed once he returned home, tired dog. 

 

 

The whole adventure was a success and I can't wait to join on the next hike. Mallorie was bummed that she wasn't able to go, but we had pancakes and eggs for dinner Friday night and went to the park before bed so she was placated. The curtains were left open to allow for a bit more light into her bedroom and she fell asleep without a fuss (which was a relief as she doesn't like to sleep alone in her room). 

Guess it's time to start investing in backpacking gear...or raid my dad Mark's supply....

Vet School Family

We started our veterinary education in 2004 as a group of approximately 100 students. Of those, roughly 75% were women. At the end of the four years, tight knit bonds had been forged between groups of individuals. The core group of friends with whom we spent time outside of class earned the name "vet school family" because that's what they had become - people you want to see on weekends and after class. People who make you stronger, help get you through the trials of advanced education and life, lending a hand when needed, lifting your spirits by word or deed. This group got together during General Conference weekends, holidays, bright summer weekends, and in between. 

This "family" consisted of six couples and two single students. One couple was not actually attending veterinary school with us; we met Mike when he was roommates with Chadwick and Milo our second year of school before he got married. And of those in the veterinary program, I was the only wife...the other wives worked or were taking classes outside of the veterinary medical world. 

Several couples were able to reunite in Wyoming at the Andrus house for a brief weekend and CE in Jackson in 2011. I was torn between my desire to stay at home with the girls and catch up and the need to attend my meetings for professional credits. I went to the meetings. 

(Andrus, Hunt, Merkley, and Griffiths families)

 

Since that summer, we have gone many different directions and grown considerably. Two of us have been married. All have added children to their core family units. There have been moves, job changes, purchases and sales of veterinary clinics, and lots of life in between. Through it all, our bonds have been maintained. Bonds forged in Pullman, by helping each other through dating, conversion to the gospel, marriage, trials of college, and love for one another.

Some of us are still proudly displaying Cougar Pride.

We reunited in Fairview, Utah a few weeks ago, all but two couples in attendance from all over the western United States and Canada. It was amazing how it all worked out to allow us to get together for a quick weekend. The house we rented was perfect - the kitchen space was large enough to feed everyone comfortably, the outdoor sandbox was the best babysitter, and the living room allowed us to have adult time in the evening. I think we got caught up on the wheres/hows/whos of each family. And oh to hear the stories that were told!! I haven't laughed like that in a while.

 

 

 

 

Saturday afternoon was spent in Mount Pleasant at Hayley's parents' house riding horses, jumping on the trampoline, running through sprinklers, and enjoying turkey BBQ for dinner. Yup, we got Jen on a horse!!

 

 

 

 

 

12 adults.

12 children - 16 girls and 4 boys.

2 nights and 3 days of laughter, sharing of memories, and strengthening friendships. 

 Families: Barnes, Andrus, Hunt, Christensen, formerly Frampton, Merkley

In an attempt to name the children....Ada M, Kherrington C with baby C, Grace A, Bonnie M

Caroline B, Mallorie H, Martha A, Acadia C, Covey M

Spencer H, Morgan H, Rose B

Suzie A, Maverick C, Tynlie C

Annie B, August B, Eva A, Leah F

I came home stronger for the time together. How I miss these amazing people!

A Good Thought

I needed this reminder the other day...

"We must have the courage to be imperfect while striving for perfection."

~Sister Patricia Holland

Second Grade

Yesterday was the first day of school and the end of summer vacation. I have a second grader! Happily, might I add, as Morgan is excited to be moving along in her education. 

Her bus driver is the same from years past and she knows a couple of her classmates. Today, she informed me excitedly that they get to listen to music while doing their schoolwork in class. Her teacher has a background and interest in science which will keep Morgan's interest. She loves reading and science and asking questions. Math comes easily to her. I hope that she continues to learn about friendships - how to be a friend, to make a friend, and keep a friend. She has struggled with this aspect of life the last two years. 

So grateful for this little bookworm! Go get 'em, Morgan Magoo!

 

Random Happenings

I find myself sometimes lost in the day-to-day routine. The laundry. Cooking and cleaning, repeating the routine several hours later. Pulling weeds. Baths and showers. Reading scriptures before bed and remembering to say personal prayers. Trying to squeeze in time at the gym.

Recently, though, I catch myself sitting at the dinner table smiling at the antics of my little circus. Mallorie informs me how "by accidently" something happened. Spencer hollers, "Drops!" when his toy hits the floor. Morgan has become infatuated with the Nancy Drew series that I read as a child (and I admit to re-reading The Mystery at Shadow Ranch the last few nights) and has devoured the stash my dad brought to town in June. They love to ride the lawn mower, sing songs, and will have moments of serenity at play. Favorite bedtime songs in the past few months - The Rose, Hanging Tree (from The Hunger Games), Hallejeuh (best version is by Pentatonix), Nearer My God to Thee, and I Am a Child of God.

Did I have this much stuff when I was a kid??

 

 

We made it through majority of our "Summer Bucket List," for which I am grateful. Since school let out in June, we have gone camping, had fun, rode horses with me, been to the library, road tripped to Utah, picked raspberries, mailed a bundle of notes and drawings to Grandma and Grandpa Hunt in Texas, and played at Eagle Island. Many afternoons have been spent riding bikes, coloring with chalk, playing in the water, napping in the car, and grudgingly doing chores around the house.

At the beginning of July, I took a quick weekend trip to Grantsville to watch a dear friend get married in Grantsville. I knew her in Boise during a rough patch and I was thrilled to meet her new husband and get a feel for the wonderful people who are now her in-laws. It didn't hurt that I got to stop when I wanted, listen to my songs, sing loud or quiet, and have some "me" time in the process. Those moments are cherished in this crazy thing I call life.

 

Morgan constantly has her nose in a book, and she is often in trouble for it. She is great at helping me with Spencer, loves, to read the scriptures, and is learning to walk the line between younger and older child. Art is still a favorite activity as is wrestling with her dad and little brother, riding her bike, and picking food from the garden. Oh, and she lost another tooth the night before school started. Her note to the Toothfairy cracked me up!

We caught the LegoAmerica display at the Boise Towne Square a few weeks ago. I've never seen such an amazing display! For example, the Capital Building took 1700 hours to complete....

 

Mallorie is my tender girl. She sings when content, wakes up each morning with a radiant smile, and adores her little brother. Artwork is also a favorite activity and she's quickly mastering the ability to ride her "stroder bike" with ease. It was a proud moment last weekend when she caught and carried around a grasshopper.

 

Spencer is a rascal. There's no better word to describe his antics. He has learned that by adding a chair or stool in front of a piece of furniture, his reach is significantly longer. I have come downstairs several times to find him playing on the iPad on the coffee table. A password has since been added to the device and he hasn't quite forgiven me. His enthusiasm is contagious, his energy levels exhausting, and also likes to color. Younger of two sisters, he will occasionally play with dolls and barbies. The first words out of his mouth each morning are to ask if he can go play. Puzzles, cars, and dinosaurs are the favorite choices.

And I've been working on projects - remodeling the living room and a couple of craft type things. Such as a decorative box that now occupies the center of our dining table and a long-awaited chore chart. This thing makes me so happy and is about "Pinterest worthy!"

 

My friend Cyndi and I have been doing a project group for several months and it has given me the motivation to try new things (like using the chop saw!). We have loved the time to focus on a project as things get done more quickly, and with more fun, when there are two adults. The efficiency is hampered somewhat by the presence of 8 children, but that's motherhood!

The temperatures have dropped some and it's been hard to focus on inside chores....looking forward to the crispness of fall.