Here and There and Everywhere

Summertime has all of us thrown off our normal schedule - bedtimes are later, afternoons have been spent outside with dinner thrown together last minute (my poor husband probably longs for a normal, "adult" meal), and I'm tired enough to not want to write. But the pictures just keep piling up along with the stories and memories. 

Since Mother's Day, we have been:

Camping with friends in High Valley. It was awesome to spend time with the Woodlands and get to know them a bit better. We arrived late Friday afternoon and got our tents set up just before it poured. So much for s'mores! Chocolate and swedish fish were consumed in the dryness of the tent rather than by a smoky flame. The kids and I squished into our four-man tent and they slept. I didn't bring more than a yoga mat, thinking that I could be young and tough. Turns out, I'm not young or tough and didn't sleep much on the ground. 

Saturday dawned clear and lovely. The local pond is stocked with rainbow trout that aren't bothered enough....the older kids caught and released a huge amount of fish! Even Morgan was able to land a couple of her own, and I'm so grateful for the boys to have helped her in the endeavor. They took turns on the canoe and used the little kayak the other family brought. I made Spencer wear a life jacket on the dock cause I didn't quite trust him not to fall into the lake while trying to catch a bug. When the sun was out, it was quite hot. When it was hiding behind a cloud, the sweatshirt went back on. And off. And on. It was a good day and didn't start raining again until we had packed up and were heading back down the mountain. Dinner was Idaho Pizza and then home to shower! 

Mallorie had her Spring Grand Recital at the BSU special events center which went really well. I was a back stage mom for the second year and loved being part of the getting ready and behind the scenes action. The girls did great! 

The kids re-discovered the playdough and have been building in the afternoons with the clay. They are so creative! These are penguins, inspired by Morgan's class presentation on penguins toward the end of school. 

We also got to house-sit for the neighbors down the street. They have five-acres of farm - cats, chickens, cows, and calves. Their third cow was due to calve the week they were in Florida, and sure enough, she dropped her calf the morning after they left. I saw it up and wobbling around in the morning and evening and didn't have time to check on the pair during the day. By Friday morning, she was down and hiding in a patch of cheat grass, limp as a noodle. The vet was called (yes, I'm a vet but more than a little rusty in newborn-ain't-doing-right calf medicine) and the owner's daughter came out. Several hours later, the little thing was up nursing, the other cows and calves were arranged into different pastures, and I spent the next two days worrying about this little one staying alive. The vet thought that she might have been a bit of a dummy calf - oxygen deprived during birth - and just didn't get the hang of what she needed to do right away. Named Freya, she's doing well now! The kids loved going over in the evenings for chores and running around the property. Mrs. B loves her cows and I don't think has plans to leave during calving season. Ever again!

 We're working on potty training....he often looks like this during the day!

Not sure how he does it, but this little man can sleep on my lap while I'm riding the lawn mower!

Sometimes I play a little "game" with Chadwick - is the dishwasher clean or dirty? I dislike unloading the dishwasher with a passion and would rather let the sink pile high with dirty dishes than unload the clean ones. Usually, I have the girls do it after Morgan gets off the bus. On this particular day, the sink was actually piled higher than shown by the time I got around to cleaning it up. Glad Chadwick wasn't here to see it....this type of thing annoys him greatly.

We also had Spencer's birthday, attended the Meridian Public Works Expo, and have been playing at home and in the yard. More on that another time. Dinner prep is calling.

Motherhood

Motherhood is full of opposites - great joys, large frustrations, exhaustion, smiling until your face hurts, swinging from the brink of wanting to strangle a child to smothering that same child in kisses (sometimes within a five-minute period). It's the hardest thing I've ever done.

Motherhood is also FOREVER. It's not a 9-5 job or something from which you retire after putting in 18 years. There are no raises, no awards ceremonies, and you're always on call, on edge, and looking out. It's a burden to know that these sweet spirits have been entrusted in my care and I am so thankful to have an amazing husband with whom I can share this load. I believe that it does take a village to raise a family and can't believe how blessed I am with the family and friends, both near and far, who help me in this most important job. 

This quote from Harold B. Lee has really resonated with me in the past 6 months: "The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home." 

I've mentioned before being torn in my desire to work as a veterinarian and remain home with the children. It came to a head last fall and after a lengthy discussion with my hubs, decided to pray about continuing to work or remain here full time. My sweet sister in law recommended a list of pros and cons and that couldn't have been better advice. Once I got it out on the laptop, Excel spreadsheet style, I felt that my answer was clear: it's time to stay home. A trip to the temple and a Sunday of Julie-style fasting confirmed that thought. 

As a side note, I was nervous about telling Chadwick. In our previous conversation, he mentioned supporting a decision to remain home, but only if it was done for the right reasons. In other words, if I wasn't quitting my clinic job because it was hard. Or inconvenient. The impressive thing was that as I created the list of pros and cons - "stay at home," "continue working several days per month," and "go back to work on a weekly basis" - I could feel an internal shift. Yes, it was inconvenient to find a sitter for the younger kids and arrange for help getting Morgan to/from the bus stop. No, I don't have a lot of confidence in my clinic skills anymore. However, I began to feel like staying home was where I belonged and what I wanted for my family. It wasn't about me anymore. When I told Chadwick, he smiled and quietly said that he had been feeling the same thing over the previous couple of months. Immediate boost to my faith in prayer and doing something for the right reasons. 

I don't know what I'll do when the kids are in school full-time or gone the way of college/mission/their own apartment. And I'm not really worried, to be honest. I try to remember that being home is a blessing and something that shouldn't be taken for granted. Yes, there are hard days. Yes, there are days my heart soars watching and listening to the songs and giggles. Most days it's somewhere in between. 

My mom flew up for a visit over Mother's Day and we had a blast! Mother's Day and her birthday coincided this year so we celebrated by attending Morgan and Mallorie's end-of-the-year music recitals, lunch at Freddy's just us, and an overnight trip to McCall. 

It was just what I had been craving; alone time with Mom. We talked and ate our way through the weekend, shopping downtown McCall, walking by the lake, and enjoying time together. Chadwick made dinner Sunday evening and we decorated a Hello Kitty cake for her birthday. Spencer blew out the candles before Mom could take a breath at the end of the birthday song! She spoiled the kids Monday and flew back home Tuesday. 

I'm grateful to bear the title of "mother" and am indebted to my own mother and mother-in-law for setting amazing examples. This world is a better place with mothers. 

Rosemary + Thyme + Four = a Spice Cabinet

Last fall, we took our ewes (then a year and a half old) plus 6 bales of alfalfa hay to Parma, where we purchased them, and left the girls for a month with the hopes that they would get pregnant during that time.

And, despite our knowledge and access to ultrasound technology, Chadwick and I had to wait until the end of February to really tell if they were, in fact, pregnant. Neither of us have access to a large animal ultrasound machine and as far as we know, no one is manufacturing a pregnancy test for sheep. By the middle of February, their wool is thick enough to give the appearance of pregnancy, so it was hard to tell. Thyme was the first to really show signs of pregnancy; judging by the size of her girth, we were betting she was carrying twins.

Extra hay, extra grain, trips into the back yard for fresh grass....we spoiled them as much as possible during their last month. Given the fact that we didn't know their exact breeding date, we had to guess as to when they were due. (Gestation in a sheep is about 5 months.) Were they bred at the beginning of their time in Parma? Or the end? So many questions without enough answers.

Poor Thyme! She looked SO uncomfortable, and I had the greatest empathy for her; all expecting mothers reach a stage of pregnancy where they just look and feel large. She was like a giant cotton ball on toothpicks....

The morning of March 22 I went out to feed the ewes and found, to my delight, two little lambs on the straw in the barn. Still wet, they were tiny and brown and perfect. Thyme was tired but delivered them without a problem. I kicked Rosemary out of the barn and left the new mama to try and figure out what to do. For several weeks prior to her delivery, the kids would ask every morning, "Did they have their babies?" That morning, I got to say YES! We all sprinted back to the barn to admire the new life. She had a male and female - named Nutmeg and Cinnamon, respectively. The next day, Chadwick's boss from the clinic came over with an elasticator to castrate the little male.

We've never had so many people ask to come over. Not to see us, of course, but the lambs. A friend asked if I felt used. Ha! It's been fun to show them off. And I hardly saw Morgan for the first couple days after their birth as she spent all her free time hanging out in the barn. Made me happy.

Rosemary continued to enlarge, though she never looked quite as uncomfortable as her pasture-mate. She delivered twins sometime in the afternoon of April 2nd, another male and female. We named them Herb (thanks, Sara!) and Basil.

Both ewes have been great mothers to their lambs, though it bothers me that they will ram the other lambs without a second thought. Thyme took it to Darwin several times when he was in the corral whining and causing a ruckus. The look on his face the first time she broadsided him was priceless, though I felt bad for him the couple times she had him pinned against the barn wall, repeatedly head butting him, as I fumbled to get the gate open and set him loose.

Now over a month, the lambs have lost their tails (banded as well), are eating grass like adult sheep, and attack me each evening when I offer grain as a treat for coming in from the pasture. The older twins were handled a lot right after birth and are much friendlier than the younger ones. Note to self, get out and maul all the lambs starting day two! We have freezer homes for the males and hope to find the females a pasture to spend their days.

Welcome, spring!

Making Covenants

With the age of eight years comes the age of accountability - the ability to discern right from wrong, to be held accountable for choices and actions. A child's spiritual journey sort of begins on this day with baptism by immersion and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. They can learn to repent, to make covenants with Heavenly Father, and to listen to the still, small voice capable of providing guidance and warning. To have their names "officially" in the records of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Basically, it's a big deal!!

Morgan chose to be baptized at the beginning of April and it was a wonderful day! She had great support from family and friends and seemed to enjoy this day set aside to celebrate her and her choices.

Steve and Nancy weren't here physically but they sent a wonderful picture of themselves holding a poster. 

My three parents came to Meridian to be with us and hopefully were able to feel the sweet spirit that accompanies such an event. Also in attendance were Chadwick's brothers, James and Stephen, and their families, his cousin Nathan and family, as well as the Olsens next door and the Paskett girls. Morgan shared the event with another boy from the ward who happens to be the son of a woman with whom Chadwick went to high school. I couldn't have chosen a better family to join for the afternoon. 

Morgan said she was nervous on the ride to the stake center, though she went through the motions of getting her white jumper on and sitting quietly through the opening exercises like a champ. How did my little girl get so big??

After the talks and songs in the chapel, our ward was excused to the room in which the font is located. Ladies first, so Morgan went into the water with her father. The small children were invited to the front of the room for a front-row seat. Chadwick raised his right arm and with a clear voice stated Morgan's full name. He followed with the phrase from D&C 20:73 which states, "Having been commissioned of Jesus Christ, I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen." He then immersed her under the water for a brief moment and brought her back up with a smooth motion. She later told me that the water was warm. 

She changed into her white dress and received the gift of the Holy Ghost, also through Chadwick's authority. Uncles James, Stephen, and Nathan joined in the circle for the confirmation. Many hugs later, we left the church to come back home for snacks and visiting. 

I loved the feeling of love and friendship that was present both at the church and in our home after. Many of the people in attendance aren't members of the Church but came because they have a love for Morgan and our family. How blessed are we to live in this house, this neighborhood, and to be part of such amazing families. 

A big thanks to Brie who took time for a photo session at the Meridian Idaho Temple one Sunday afternoon. I love these photos!

I am excited to see her continue to grow with her knowledge of the gospel and in her testimony. What a wonderful, smart spirit she possesses! 

An Update

Found this in my Inbox this evening; it's from Intermountain Pet Hospital where my hubby is a veterinarian. Guess it's now official....

"It is with deep sorrow that we inform you of a recent tragic incident involving Dr. Douglas Wick. He was involved in a canoeing accident and is still missing, even after search and rescue efforts. We are heart broke and fear the worst; that we have lost an amazing doctor and friend.

Dr. Wick truly embodied the values, spirit, and heart of Intermountain Pet Hospital and was a true champion for providing the best care possible to every pet he has seen here.

These past weeks have been a very trying time for all of our staff at IPH as Dr. Wick is very loved and respected by everyone here. We know his circle of influence, love, and care extended to you as well."

Our prayers continue to be with his wife and family. I still can't begin to comprehend what she has been feeling and will continue to feel.

Anguish

This morning, Chadwick received a call from a colleague at the veterinary clinic where he works. I could tell from his posture and lack of conversation that the call did not bring good tidings. Tying his tie in preparation for church, he told me that a fellow veterinarian and friend, the man who occupied the desk next to his for the past year and then some, was missing. My stomach dropped to my feet as I tried to understand. "Missing? Like he didn't show up for work today?" It seemed unusual for Dr. Wick to go AWOL. Grimly, Chadwick informed me that while canoeing on the Snake River with his wife over the weekend, the canoe capsized. He hasn't been found, despite a search with boats and helicopters from agencies in three counties. Missing and presumed....dead. The search will be officially called off tomorrow at 3 pm.

My sweet husband headed out the door to their house in the north end of town to see how he could be of assistance. I admire his dedication to serving those in his circle of influence. How he can drop everything and go where needed. Meals were organized under his supervision for the wife (also a veterinarian in town), her parents, and her in-laws, who are with her at their house. Many of the clinic staff met this evening to get an update and huddle in the midst of the crisis. 

After Chadwick left the house on his grim errand, I collapsed in tears, pleading with Heavenly Father to let the body of this man be located. Alive would be preferable, but found in general. To give closure to his wife. To his parents and family members. To put an end to what is likely the worst nightmare this woman has experienced. I grieve for her pain, the anguish at coming up out of the cold water and not being able to locate her husband. For the hours spent trying to find him and making dreaded phone calls to parents and work. 

I've met them a handful of times at the clinic holiday parties. I used to giggle because Chad-wick sat next to Doug-Wick in the doctor office. He had a boyish air that says growing up is for other people, a great smile, and was well liked by the staff and, in all likelihood, his clients. I don't think they have been out of vet school for more than 5 years. 

A thousand questions run through my head that will never be answered. 

I feel weighted down by mortality and the knowledge that things can change in the blink of an eye. And it's a reminder to love deeply, apologize quickly, and cherish the normal days we experience. 

And my heart continues its silent, sad prayer.

Ear Piercing

I got my ears pierced for the first time when I was six and then again when I was twelve. For years, I happily wore two sets of earrings. First year of school at the WSU College of Vet Med brought discussions with the LDS missionaries and a challenge to treat my body as a temple; one of the presidents of the Church asked the youth and women to remove extra body piercings and leave only one set of earrings. I had been mulling over the invitation to remove the extra earrings for several days and remember one evening studying in the anatomy lab (the smell of formaldehyde never quite leaves your nose during that first year of school) and made the decision to commit. Whole-heartedly. I removed the studs from the upper earring holes and set them on the lab counter top. The belly button ring soon followed once I got back home. I'm guessing I gave up my occasional cup of coffee around that time as well.

My Morgan hasn't expressed much interest in having her ears pierced, unlike Mallorie who has asked intermittently since she was old enough to realize such a thing could be accomplished. My Tia sent Morgan a beautiful pair of earrings for her 8th birthday and sparked a desire to get her ears done. The first Tuesday of track break, we hit the mall, just the two of us. Claire's was the first stop. She chose studs that represent her birthstone and sat nervously while the sales associate prepared for the piercing.

As the woman raised the "gun" to Morgan's ear to place the earring, Morgan ducked her head sideways. Laughing, the associate informed her that in order to get this done, she had to hold still. This was repeated two more times. I was on the verge of having her get out of the chair to try in a few months when she bucked up and held still long enough for the "pow!" of the little machine. A look of surprise and pain flashed across her face....I was shocked she didn't move more than once as the woman went to place the other earring into the lobe of her ear.

Ears still stinging, Morgan picked out some extra earrings, got her bag of earring cleaner and instructions and out we went. The grimace didn't leave her face for a good 30 minutes, during which we ate a pretzel (she downed a whole one by herself) and bought some much-needed new tennis shoes. By the time we got back to the car, the pain had dulled enough for her to take a few selfies. She was quite proud of the earrings and did a great job caring for them for the first few weeks.

Mallorie has declared that she wants her ears pierced for her 6th birthday....we'll see how that goes.