Anguish

This morning, Chadwick received a call from a colleague at the veterinary clinic where he works. I could tell from his posture and lack of conversation that the call did not bring good tidings. Tying his tie in preparation for church, he told me that a fellow veterinarian and friend, the man who occupied the desk next to his for the past year and then some, was missing. My stomach dropped to my feet as I tried to understand. "Missing? Like he didn't show up for work today?" It seemed unusual for Dr. Wick to go AWOL. Grimly, Chadwick informed me that while canoeing on the Snake River with his wife over the weekend, the canoe capsized. He hasn't been found, despite a search with boats and helicopters from agencies in three counties. Missing and presumed....dead. The search will be officially called off tomorrow at 3 pm.

My sweet husband headed out the door to their house in the north end of town to see how he could be of assistance. I admire his dedication to serving those in his circle of influence. How he can drop everything and go where needed. Meals were organized under his supervision for the wife (also a veterinarian in town), her parents, and her in-laws, who are with her at their house. Many of the clinic staff met this evening to get an update and huddle in the midst of the crisis. 

After Chadwick left the house on his grim errand, I collapsed in tears, pleading with Heavenly Father to let the body of this man be located. Alive would be preferable, but found in general. To give closure to his wife. To his parents and family members. To put an end to what is likely the worst nightmare this woman has experienced. I grieve for her pain, the anguish at coming up out of the cold water and not being able to locate her husband. For the hours spent trying to find him and making dreaded phone calls to parents and work. 

I've met them a handful of times at the clinic holiday parties. I used to giggle because Chad-wick sat next to Doug-Wick in the doctor office. He had a boyish air that says growing up is for other people, a great smile, and was well liked by the staff and, in all likelihood, his clients. I don't think they have been out of vet school for more than 5 years. 

A thousand questions run through my head that will never be answered. 

I feel weighted down by mortality and the knowledge that things can change in the blink of an eye. And it's a reminder to love deeply, apologize quickly, and cherish the normal days we experience. 

And my heart continues its silent, sad prayer.

Ear Piercing

I got my ears pierced for the first time when I was six and then again when I was twelve. For years, I happily wore two sets of earrings. First year of school at the WSU College of Vet Med brought discussions with the LDS missionaries and a challenge to treat my body as a temple; one of the presidents of the Church asked the youth and women to remove extra body piercings and leave only one set of earrings. I had been mulling over the invitation to remove the extra earrings for several days and remember one evening studying in the anatomy lab (the smell of formaldehyde never quite leaves your nose during that first year of school) and made the decision to commit. Whole-heartedly. I removed the studs from the upper earring holes and set them on the lab counter top. The belly button ring soon followed once I got back home. I'm guessing I gave up my occasional cup of coffee around that time as well.

My Morgan hasn't expressed much interest in having her ears pierced, unlike Mallorie who has asked intermittently since she was old enough to realize such a thing could be accomplished. My Tia sent Morgan a beautiful pair of earrings for her 8th birthday and sparked a desire to get her ears done. The first Tuesday of track break, we hit the mall, just the two of us. Claire's was the first stop. She chose studs that represent her birthstone and sat nervously while the sales associate prepared for the piercing.

As the woman raised the "gun" to Morgan's ear to place the earring, Morgan ducked her head sideways. Laughing, the associate informed her that in order to get this done, she had to hold still. This was repeated two more times. I was on the verge of having her get out of the chair to try in a few months when she bucked up and held still long enough for the "pow!" of the little machine. A look of surprise and pain flashed across her face....I was shocked she didn't move more than once as the woman went to place the other earring into the lobe of her ear.

Ears still stinging, Morgan picked out some extra earrings, got her bag of earring cleaner and instructions and out we went. The grimace didn't leave her face for a good 30 minutes, during which we ate a pretzel (she downed a whole one by herself) and bought some much-needed new tennis shoes. By the time we got back to the car, the pain had dulled enough for her to take a few selfies. She was quite proud of the earrings and did a great job caring for them for the first few weeks.

Mallorie has declared that she wants her ears pierced for her 6th birthday....we'll see how that goes. 

A Few Funnies

I love the things kids say. I love the way they say the things they do. How they repeat what they hear with their own flair.

My favorite of the week was from Mallorie: her primary teachers gave her a card, basically welcoming her to their class and expressing gratitude that she's there with them. It was written in cursive, neatly worded and signed by both brethren. A sweet gesture! Especially since she's the only girl in the class and not particularly loving the fact. Well, the class was talking about the card at some point and Mallorie sweetly informed her teacher, "I don't think my mom can read cursive. She was born in Mexico." His wife is a friend and she texted me when he told her what Mallorie had said. I giggled about that for several days.

She has also been talking recently about where she's going to live when she grows up. For many months, she was going to live on a farm with all the dressings. However, things have changed and her future living spot will be in a "department." Today, questions revolved around what kind of animals you can have in such a place. And if she should live on the bottom or top floor.

Spencer has a couple things that crack me up. When asked to do something, and he's feeling amiable to assisting, he'll replay, "Yep. I can," then run off to do what was requested. The other thing that makes me laugh inside is when he has pooped and his bottom is sore. Instead of saying it hurts or is ouchy, he tells me that he's ready to change his bottom because it's "spicy."

His new favorite song is "You Are My Sunshine." However, since watching an episode of Care Bears from the library, he now calls it "funshine" (the bear with the sun on its belly). I like the new word better anyway.....

Morgan, You're Turning EIGHT!!

I was made a mom the first time in the early afternoon of February 26, 2010. This chubby-cheeked, blue eyed girl has been melting my heart since the first time I held her in my arms. She rivaled, and my opinion surpassed, the cuteness of the Gerber baby, has an natural curiosity that keeps me on my toes, and is turning into a beautiful and smart little lady.

Morgan loves to read. She devours books, page by page, at every free moment both during recess and while at home. Yes, it gets her into trouble as she places her nose in the book when she ought to be getting dressed/doing homework/completing chores/going to sleep. She reminds me of myself when young in that regard. School still seems to come easily for her and she loves reading and science and social studies. Library is, of course, her favorite special. Lately, Morgan has been exploring the world of Google as she researches places like Australia or animals from a prehistoric time. Drawing/coloring are her other favorite past times, especially in the winter months when she can't be out playing in the barn or riding her bike. 

For her birthday, she requested a family ice skating outing, so off to Ice World we went, through the snow and wind of the day. 

By the time the open skate was complete, Morgan was skating more and falling less. However, the effort took its toll and she requested an ice pack for bed for her bruised elbow! Mallorie also enjoyed the outing, more so once we snagged her a "stroller" which is a hard plastic piece that can be pushed on the ice in front of you like a walker. Spencer....he made it about two laps happily and struggled for the duration. His poor little ankles just aren't strong enough to hold him up yet. He enjoyed trying to eat the ice off the bottom of his skates.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, of which we are members, children are baptized when they reach "the age of accountability," which is eight. It's a big deal - you're making covenants with Heavenly Father to take His name upon you, to serve others, and to account for the mistakes you make in a bigger way. Choose the Right (CTR) is a slogan often used on jewelry, backpacks, and logos to remind the children to make good choices in their lives. Morgan wanted a cake that reflected her decision to be baptized, and with the help of some fondant and my friend Saramarie, an edible "masterpiece" was created!

Family came over for cake and ice cream on Sunday. Presents were opened Monday morning before school.

 And I snagged her for a quick bite at McDonald's during her lunch break. 

Dinner was home made cheese pizza at her request and we held family home evening. Overall, a great weekend celebrating this amazing girl! I am grateful for her help, her smile, her curiosity, and to see what she makes of this life as she continues to grow. We love you, Magoo!

This is Me

Reading about sugar addiction while savoring several pieces of my favorite dark chocolate. Yep.....that was one of my nights last week. 

Granite Counter Top:1/Spencer's Forehead: 0

Super Bowl Sunday brought our first visit to the emergency room. 

Twenty minutes before leaving for church, Spencer was standing on the barstool in the kitchen reaching for a toy just out of reach. One minute, he was upright, the next thing I knew, he dropped to the floor. The holler from the other side of the counter spoke of more pain than usual, and as he rounded the corner, the biggest column of blood I've ever seen was prepared to cascade down his face over his left eye. I sat him on the stool on the kitchen floor and pressed paper towels over the spot to staunch the bleeding. Peeking at the wound, I was horrified to see the large area of skin pulled back from the skull. Swallowing to calm the mounting adrenaline rush, I called Morgan over to keep pressure on the area (with strict instructions not to look under the bloody towel) and raced upstairs to find a bandage. I tore apart the first aid kit, thinking to myself that as two veterinarians, we ought to have something that would work! I was also calling Mallorie's preschool teacher, Tammy, to find out where to take this kid. She has five boys and I figured she would know where to go for stitches, besides the veterinary clinic where my husband works. 

Did I mention that Chadwick was already at church for meetings?

Tammy offered to come get the girls. I declined, swallowed the initial panic, and descended the stairs. Spencer was still hollering and sitting on his stool, Morgan obediently pushing on his wound. The bleeding had slowed and I got it bandaged without incident. Tammy arrived on my doorstep with a smile to get my girls (bless her heart!) and I loaded Spencer and his blankie into the Pilot to head to the urgent care. By then, his sobs had subsided and he was willing to try for a smile for the camera.

The urgent care was between patients and we walked right into the small room for vitals and history. After obtaining his height, weight, temp, oxygen saturation, and story behind the bandage around his head, the nurse asked to see the wound as we prepared to walk to the assigned room. I peeled the bandage back. Stunned silence greeted the revelation and the nurse looked at me, eyes wide. "Normally I can tell how bad it is by the mom....you are really calm. Um, we need to head to a different room." By this, she meant the "operating room" of the urgent care facility. Walking down the narrow hall, another nurse smiled and said, "another one bites the dust."

The doctor took a look at his wound, snapped a couple of pictures, and let me know she felt more comfortable with us at the emergency room in case we needed to sedate him. I was concerned about a concussion but as he was showing no clinical signs of such, I crossed that off the list of things to stress about. 

Now, this is one of the worst flu seasons in recent years. As we sat in the emergency room waiting our turn, it occurred to me that this was not the ideal place for two healthy individuals. I went through a large amount of hand sanitizer that afternoon in an attempt to keep us healthy and calm my mom-germaphobia. 

My little man was amazing. The doc placed a gel combination of epinephrine, lidocaine, and tetracaine over the wound, left us for about 30 minutes, and came back to suture the edges closed. By then, the skin had blanched and nerves numbed. Using 6-0 suture, he carefully placed 16 stitches in the v-shaped wound above the eye. Spencer lay obediently on the bed, flinching occasionally and happily watching "Snow White" on tv. When he started getting antsy, an orange popsicle calmed the wiggles and the job was finished. 

A nap, dinner, and children's ibuprofen improved his demeanor. He proceeded to throw a massive fit when we refused to let him jump on the trampoline in the dark at a friends' house...um, no thanks! Sutures were removed by a friend's PA husband 5 days later and it's healing nicely. He'll have a lovely scar to add to his manliness and I have a great story of the first - probably of several - ER stories. 

 

Go big or go home. Since then, he's been pointing to his healing scar to anyone willing to look in his direction while saying, "Look I did." 

Atta boy, Spencer.

Magnetic Experiment

Who knew that My Little Ponies could stick to the wall.....