Parenting Pearls

Several girlfriends and I took a class through BYU-I in the evenings on parenting, taught by an amazing woman who has seen it all, done most of it, and has been teaching this particular class for about 10 years (maybe more). I really enjoyed it and was excited to be able to attend her class again this fall. I will try and do blogs each week with the "parenting pearls" that I glean from each class.

Last week's topic was on creating a house of order. In order to create a house of order, we need to do some planning and preparation. Planning was something done from the beginning of time. It would have been silly for God to create the animals and plants without first creating the earth. To start, we need to get a vision and create a plan and purpose for our home. How can you parent with a purpose if you don't have a plan?

There is order in its season, its place, and its time.
One of the scriptures states that "to everything there is a season." For those of us with young children, our primary focus needs to be on parenting, teaching, training, and creating a place of security for our children. Yes, have hobbies and other activities, but the focus should be on the children. We should live more in the moment and cherish the things that are occuring in our house now. In all of eternity, this is our one opportunity to have our children totally to ourselves. Sister Tanner pointed out that if we cherish the moments, we will use more moments to teach. Why do we yell? To get results and move on to the next task. Why is a child being ornery? Take the time to find out and correct rather than "bandaid" the signs so you can run to the next thing.

Creating a neat and orderly home will allow for the Spirit to be able to dwell within our homes. No, the house doesn't have to be perfect, but liveable. Create peace in the home by choosing appropriate types of music, movies, and activities. D&C 88:124 is perfect for this: "Cease to be idle; cease to be unclean; cease to find fault one with another; cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated." Her challenge to us was to get up, exercise/read scriptures and shower before the children are vertical. The blessing? A creationg of order, peace, and a decrease in tension. Also see D&C 88:119.

Create rites of passage to help the children feel like they are growing up. Yes, our church has established 8 years as the time for baptism and 16 years for the age at which to date. Create a few rules and then stick to the precedents you have set for the oldest. What do you want to do for baptisms? Weddings? When can the girls pierce their ears? Have Friday nights out with friends?

Establish daily and weekly habits. Have mealtimes together, especially dinners.

Now for the homework (which she assigns each week):

• As a family, write a mission statement. Hang it on the wall, read it often.



• Look at your daily life - how can you create order and establish healthy patterns?



• Have a FHE on the Proclamation to the Family.



• Read Elder Worthlin's talk in May 2007 "Life's Lessons Learned"



• From the first week of class, read Ensign May 2011 pg 103 - great talk! Will help with the mission statment I think

As I have made some of her suggestions a part of my life, I have learned about my own parenting style, been able to try and change some of my habits, and just had fun thinking about things that ought to be done! I hope that some of these tidbits I throw at the blog are helpful (to anyone still reading this?), and if there have questions or want more details, let me know!