Parenting Pearls

Several girlfriends and I took a class through BYU-I in the evenings on parenting, taught by an amazing woman who has seen it all, done most of it, and has been teaching this particular class for about 10 years (maybe more). I really enjoyed it and was excited to be able to attend her class again this fall. I will try and do blogs each week with the "parenting pearls" that I glean from each class.

Last week's topic was on creating a house of order. In order to create a house of order, we need to do some planning and preparation. Planning was something done from the beginning of time. It would have been silly for God to create the animals and plants without first creating the earth. To start, we need to get a vision and create a plan and purpose for our home. How can you parent with a purpose if you don't have a plan?

There is order in its season, its place, and its time.
One of the scriptures states that "to everything there is a season." For those of us with young children, our primary focus needs to be on parenting, teaching, training, and creating a place of security for our children. Yes, have hobbies and other activities, but the focus should be on the children. We should live more in the moment and cherish the things that are occuring in our house now. In all of eternity, this is our one opportunity to have our children totally to ourselves. Sister Tanner pointed out that if we cherish the moments, we will use more moments to teach. Why do we yell? To get results and move on to the next task. Why is a child being ornery? Take the time to find out and correct rather than "bandaid" the signs so you can run to the next thing.

Creating a neat and orderly home will allow for the Spirit to be able to dwell within our homes. No, the house doesn't have to be perfect, but liveable. Create peace in the home by choosing appropriate types of music, movies, and activities. D&C 88:124 is perfect for this: "Cease to be idle; cease to be unclean; cease to find fault one with another; cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated." Her challenge to us was to get up, exercise/read scriptures and shower before the children are vertical. The blessing? A creationg of order, peace, and a decrease in tension. Also see D&C 88:119.

Create rites of passage to help the children feel like they are growing up. Yes, our church has established 8 years as the time for baptism and 16 years for the age at which to date. Create a few rules and then stick to the precedents you have set for the oldest. What do you want to do for baptisms? Weddings? When can the girls pierce their ears? Have Friday nights out with friends?

Establish daily and weekly habits. Have mealtimes together, especially dinners.

Now for the homework (which she assigns each week):

• As a family, write a mission statement. Hang it on the wall, read it often.



• Look at your daily life - how can you create order and establish healthy patterns?



• Have a FHE on the Proclamation to the Family.



• Read Elder Worthlin's talk in May 2007 "Life's Lessons Learned"



• From the first week of class, read Ensign May 2011 pg 103 - great talk! Will help with the mission statment I think

As I have made some of her suggestions a part of my life, I have learned about my own parenting style, been able to try and change some of my habits, and just had fun thinking about things that ought to be done! I hope that some of these tidbits I throw at the blog are helpful (to anyone still reading this?), and if there have questions or want more details, let me know!

The Creative Little Mind

Last week after dinner, I had the tray off Morgan's high chair for cleaning. She said, "Baby? Baby?" and went to get her little doll, which she quickly located and then placed in the high chair. "Num-num?" she asked. "Do you want some num-nums for your baby?" I asked her. A quick "yes!" followed and I got some craisons from the cupboard. She happily shoved one into the doll's face and then popped it into her own mouth. After one or two, Morgan ran off to get her stuffed animals. Hello Kitty, green frog, singing bear, duck, gorilla, and the puppy were among the animals shoved onto the chair and fed some craisons. After their "dinner," the animals and doll were re-located to the fireplace hearth, where she lined them up in a row with very little guidance on my part. I managed to snag a photo with her and the animals before she jumped off the hearth and began to put them back next to the couch.

Might I add that as she put them away, it was 1-2 animals at a time? Twelve steps from the hearth to the couch, twelve back to the hearth. Times 5 trips.....that's a lot of steps! No wonder she sleeps well at night!

Catch-Up

Quick run down: Tuesday after Labor Day we had a family outing, dog included, to play at Lucky Peak in the park with a picnic. Sept 9 we celebrated Chadwick and Stephan's birthday with some amazing home-grilled salmon at the Hunts. Sept 11 was the ten year anniversary of 9/11, and Chadwick and I both agree that it doesn't feel that long since the destruction of the towers. As all the people interviewed on television and the radio, those are images and memories that will never be erased from my mind.

In Morgan-land, her vocabulary seems to be increasing weekly. From about 22 words at her 18-month birthday, she continues to add them, or parts of them, quickly! Yesterday she came up with "happy," though I'm not sure if that is "happy" of "hoppy" or some weird form of "apple." Time will tell! She has a tendency to combine many meanings into one word, so it may mean all of those things! For example, "da-do" can mean radio, music, piano, or dance.

Yesterday, the three of us went downtown to Art in the Park, a deal put on by the Boise Art Museum. They invite hundreds of vendors who sell art, crafts, jewelry, etc - there is some awesome talent around! And of course they have all the fair foods - lemonade, funnel cakes, elephant ears, corn dogs, frozen bananas dipped in chocolate...I could have spent the whole time eating! Lucky (or unlucky) for me, I married someone who is relatively immune to the effects of a funnel cake stand, so I settled for a lemonade and a walk around the park. http://www.boiseartmuseum.org/events/AIPinfo_general.php

Several weeks ago, Morgan discovered the joy of wearing olive rings....it must be ingrained into children that those little black things that adults eat make lovely jewelry. She didn't hold still real well, so pardon the blur. But you get the idea:

And this afternoon, I found her wearing my shoes, holding her blankie and the helium balloon I gave Chadwick for his birthday! She was so proud of herself, the little diva.

Another First of Many

Yesterday morning, our little busybody went to Nursery at church....and stayed, by herself, the whole time! The gals who are teachers in the class said she did great until about the last 10 minutes when she started asked for "dietie," aka blankie/binky. I've been looking forward to this day for several months since it's become a challenge to keep her busy throughout the church classes, but now that it has come and gone I'm just sad that she's so big! Now I know why parents cry when their child goes off to kindergarden for the first time...

In typical Morgan fashion, she's too busy to look at the camera for more than 2 seconds, which isn't enough time to get a good shot of her face. Here she is re-arranging her Micky Mouse books in their box, an activity she loves!

Les Bois Park

Saturday night after work, we decided to head down to the racetrack and watch the races - it turned out to be a fun night! They run both Thoroughbreds and Quarter Horses and have a total of about 8 races in an evening. We stayed for 3 races. It's a lot of excitement in a small amount of time and quite a lot of sitting around between races. We found a bleacher that had a dead-end into a railing which overlooked the stairway - a perfect place to let Morgan run around without bothering too many people.

She loved it! She neighed at the horses, vroomed when she saw the tractors, laughed at the people around us, and watched everyone heading up and down the stairs. In fact, by the end of our time there she was so wound up from all the excitement I thought she would explode! Chadwick bought a program and made bets to himself for each of the races. He didn't do too bad; he correctly chose the winner for Races 3 and 4 and had a few of the horses chosen who placed in the top 3. His luck had run out by Race 5 and he didn't fare as well. I'm glad we didn't lose any money and can see how it would be addicting to place bets!

That's a date night we'd repeat. Wednesdays are "ladies night" and get in for free, so maybe I'll have to round up some girls for some racetrack fun....

Artwork with Wood

This spring, Chadwick's aunt came over to the house and helped me "design" the look of the flower bed which occupies the front of the house. Her flowerbeds are amazing and she was so sweet to come help with ours. In the center, we planted a climbing rose. Since it needs help to grow, I had planned on buying a trellis from Lowe's. Instead, Chadwick's creative juices started flowing and he was able to make one for me from wood lying around the yard. It turned out well, I think, though he can find several flaws in the design. Part of the problem with doing it yourself, I am coming to learn, is that you know where the goofs lie.

It's so fun to be married to someone with artistic ability!

Team Gene "X"

Four long years of information overload, long hours studying, cramming for tests, celebrating each semester passed, and pushing through the sleep deprived days of fourth year has the effect of bonding you with your classmates in veterinary school....for better or worse. Even though we studied with different groups, Chadwick and I were fortunate to have created lasting friendships with those whom he studied with - the boys of "Team Genuis" - Todd, Ryan, Milo, Nick, and Chadwick. I'm happy to report that the girls and I had no such nickname. =) And just to note, there were several other people who became part of our "family" who were not part of that study group. They are no less important to us!

In June, we were able to plan a little reunion at Milo's house in Grover, WY. There was a veterinary conference in Jackson Hole and the Andrus family was kind enough, and able to, invite all of us to stay at their house for some playing and learning. Nick was not able to attend, but Todd, Ryan, Chadwick, and I were able to go along with our families. Here are the stats:

• 5 veterinary students


• 3 non-veterinary spouses


• 4 families


• 1 house


• 8 little girls under the age of 5

It was determined that they should change their name to "Team Gene X." Next time we're making t-shirts......

On the way home, Chadwick and I couldn't help but be grateful for the amazing people in our circle of friends, how their friendship strengthens us, and how dull life would be without these individuals. Yes, we live in three different states and 2 different countries (Todd and Hanna are in Canada), but that doesn't matter! And I love that about this particular group.